I Saw God Today.

Today we went to our doctor appointment.  We had an ultrasound and to our amazement our baby was still alive!  It was measuring smaller than it should and it's heartbeat was only 106 beats per minute....abnormally slow.  The doctor sent us home with only a sliver of hope. 

6 hours exactly after we got home, I passed the baby.....and as unbelievable as it may sound, it was the most amazing thing I've ever seen!

The whole pregnancy was still in tact. The sac and the placenta were still attached to each other and somehow the sac was still "inflated". You could see inside of it and see the baby....his eyes, his little arm and leg buds, his little "tail"/spine......absolutely AMAZING and beautiful. The details were so much more than what I could ever have imagined.  The pictures in books just don't do it justice.  It was breathtaking!

God kept our little one alive so we could see his beating heart this morning.  It was such a precious gift to see our child when his spirit was still here on earth........And then God gave us this experience of literally HOLDING our baby after he had passed. It is something my husband and I both will never forget. Our child, smaller than a dime, in our hands....perfect and beautiful and finally at peace.  It was absolutely indescribable.  I got to see my baby's face today. I literally got to HOLD him...something I never DREAMED would be possible.  Out of all of this devastation,  out of what seemed to be just another disappointment, God gave us both something that will change our lives forever. He showed us His love and allowed us to see and experience something that I dare say most people never will. 

I stand in awe of my Creator.  He is so good, so compassionate, so loving.........and I am so blessed to call  Him my Heavenly Father!

Our u/s picture from this morning: