The Miracle of SJB







SYDNEY JANE

 “Mommy, you were sad at the doctor’s?”

My daughter has asked me that question at least once every day since last Tuesday. Obviously my tears left an impression on her and she is still trying to wrap her little mind around the events of that day. I hadn’t intended to cry in front of her. I really thought I’d be able to hold it together. Tuesday, I failed miserably. She witnessed it all; the anxious questions, the concerned looks from the doctor, and of course my crocodile tears.

Tuesday was supposed to be an exciting day for her. She was going to see “Mommy’s baby in her tummy!” just like we had done 2 weeks before. She had associated my ultrasounds with happiness and excitement and when the mood of the moment changed suddenly, she was left very confused and upset.

Now the questions come every day. She wants to know about the baby in my tummy. She wants to understand why I was sad at the doctor. She wants to “kiss it, make it better”. Her innocence is so genuine and her concern so true. I can’t help but smile and just kiss her face when she comes to me now to ask about my baby or my tears. The rest of the world may be afraid to ask me how I am, but she continues to ask with conviction and concern, sometimes as many as 3 or 4 times a day. Even though she doesn’t understand, she still asks….and every time that she asks my heart aches a little less.

Words cannot express how thankful I am for the miracle of Sydney Jane. Her smiles light up my darkest days and her hugs and kisses make everything “ok”. She can touch my soul with the touch of her hand, and when she says “I love you!” I know that my Heavenly Father is smiling down on me.

Thank you, Lord, for the miracle of Sydney Jane and for showing us your love through her.  She has brought us so much joy and we are so blessed and humbled to have been given the awesome responsibility of being her parents.  It is a task we do not and will not ever take for granted.