Today I am fighting the urge fall into the cold embrace of a companion who always welcomes me with open arms, but who has never truly loved me. No matter how many times he fails me, I keep running back to him, knowing he will only cause me more grief. Whether he loves me or not, he is constant. He is always there. He never tells me no. When my world is being ripped apart at the seams, he is the one place that I can hide. He gives me what I come for, but always leaves me feeling empty somehow.
You would think that after all this time I would have come to my senses. You would think I would be able to let him go and move on. You would think that I could find a friend who would make me better instead of always bringing me down. I know he is going to break my heart. He always does, but today, all I want is him.
And tomorrow when the numbers on the scale are larger than they were today…..I’ll shake my head and curse his name and tell myself never again……just like I did today.
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